Post Laxi, I haven’t been able to do much. I’ve been pretty much a vegetable. That, coupled with loads of work – super boring work, diwali prep, family family family have left me exhausted and downright zombiefied. Small wonder I manage to drive to work in the morning. Speaking of which, the most fantastic thing happened this morning. I was (happily) ‘harassed’ by an Italian diplomat. What a treat! Having cut infront of me in traffic, I gesticulated wildly at the white jetta (with the diplomatic number-plate) with elaborate facial expressions in my oh-so-yogi way. Little did I know that the fellow was looking at me (in his rear mirror) and then apologised rather timidly. That set off a whole chain of rather comic events which involved him nearly missing a head-on-collision twice simply ‘cause his eyes were glued to the rear-mirror. What hilarity yaar! At the robot where we stopped, he proceeded to coax me into lowering my window which I did… not do! The robot turned green with yogi driving off into the dusty construction zone, leaving the gawping diplomat to his stalled vehicle. I haven’t felt so sexy in a long time. A long long time. In so many ways, my encounter with the Italian has been life-giving, it’s breathing spunk back into me – reminding me that I’ve still got punch in me. Lets call it a diplomatic confidence booster shall we? ;) To me, today’s experience was not so much about ‘me’ as it was about ‘there is a God’. No seriously. I had a pretty late night, rolled out of bed super late and stumbled into the car super later. I felt like pooh and all I wanted to do was abscond to a small little dark hole labelled ‘yogi’. And out of nowhere, an angel crossed my path and reminded me of my spunk. Now if that’s not a big booming voice from the sky, I don’t know what is. What do you think?

On the work front I’m ready to pull my eye-balls out. DEAD. That’s all. I’m going to have to change this mind-set fast or I’ll be in trouble. I’ve been late for work every day this week (and most of last too) and it’s not only because of traffic, I just can’t get out of the house in the morning and find myself procrastinating at every turn. Oof. The new year might bring a contract-renewal if the funds become available, but if I don’t find a way around the bordom – I’ve got one tough task on my hands till the end of Nov. That being said, the Uni atmosphere is electric. Some time ago, I had an argument with Ba and I just couldn’t focus on my work. I took a walk around campus (oo – remind me to tell you about the Jacaranda trees!), I did a bit of stretching - nothing doing. And then, in an epiphany, I went to the library and walked through the isles. That’s all. Just walked. I can’t tell you how soothing that was. Yeah – nerd – I know!! But this is just between you and me right?

The beautiful Jacaranda blossoms are almost all but gone. Pretoria is bathed in the most luxurious shade of purple and the ground is covered in a velvety carpet of purple blossoms. It’s really a sight to behold. As I come up the crest on Rigel Ave I get a picturesque view of the Union Buildings (our Administrative Hot-house) framed in an unmistakeable shade of purple. Everyday I curse myself for forgetting my camera at home, and the one day I do remember, it happens to be the cloudiest days. I have an idea - lets ditch the camera, let me paint a picture for you. Now close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Feel the rough, dark bark of the Jacaranda tree against your palms. Now tilt your head towards the heavens and open your eyes. Against the lucid blue of the sky, you see millions of purple bell-shaped flowers fluttering in the wind. Some of them gently floating down, falling onto your cheeks and in your hair. The dark, black bark of the tree is sturdy and its long fingers extend out dripping with hundreds of blossoms like thick, sweet honey oozing from every pore. All around you, the sounds of spring brighten the air and the scent of lush green grass teases your nostrils playfully. Today, nature smiles with you…

Read More

Wow. What a month. Before I started to type this post, I had a squizz at the previous post and it’s really amazing how life can go from ‘normal’ and ‘sane’ to ‘madness’ and ‘insane’ in a few days. I feel like I’ve been captured by an alien space-craft and dropped off on the other side of the universe. Nuts I tell ya. Enough abstract blabbing – let me tell you dear ones what transpires in the state of Gauteng.

I’ve just returned from the airport after a fairly emotional farewell to a dear friend. Laxi finally received his visa and landed in South Africa on the 17th of September. It was a wonderful visit and I can only bow with thanks and gratitude to the universe for manifesting this long-long-overdue dream. Aside from the regular touristy stuff, L was just happy to get out of the little village of Mysore and into some ‘westernised society’. BRING ON THE PASTA!! Unfortunately, he missed his flight to Abidjan on the 2nd of October and so had to re-book for the next flight… Friday the 9th of October! In the meanwhile, any traveller’s worst nightmare happened. He fell sick. With a fever of over 40 for almost 3 days, I made a judgement call and on Monday, dragged his bum to hospital. He stayed in hospital for 2 days! Can you believe it! Apparently, an acute infection had taken over his system and decided to go AWOL at the most inappropriate time. But it has to have a happy ending – somewhat, and so, today, Friday the 9th of October, I tearfully bid an almost-ok Laxi good-bye. Not easy. I could see that he was not 100% ok, and yet I still let him go. What else to do in that situation? I think when you’re that ill, the best medicine is your family. I've never felt so inadequate in my life.

That being said, I feel incredibly peaceful and ok with how things have turned out. I am so blessed to have so many people who love me and support me that I have no choice but to succeed!! Laxi’s visit has taught me to balance the voice of reason and the song my heart sings. It’s an ongoing lesson and one that I will learn to learn! Step by step, moment by moment. But it’s a lesson that has given me the gift of my family. I can’t begin to explain how close we (Ba, Bapu and myself) have become. Our relationship has just mach 3’ed to a new level.

Aaah. Deep breath.

This weekend, I’ve managed to involve myself – however stupidly, in a Diwali show for the Gujerati School in Benoni. It’s not so much the helping out that I’m kicking myself about – it’s the dancing. I’m dancing in the finale with a few other ladies. I just don’t know what possessed me to agree! Aside from the time to attend practice sessions, I just don’t have the energy to pull this one off. And that too, while Laxi was here – and sick! Saturday is going to be an amazing test of my um… dance aptitude!!

That’s it from me for now…

Adieu…

Read More

Oh my gosh – they’ve done it again!! Teamwork Productions has done it again and this time they’ve not only excited and enthralled me, but have successfully managed to electrocute me without stepping anywhere near a power-point.

WOW!!

Four words: Daksha Seth Dance Company

Forgive me, for the moment my entire vocabulary will only consist of the finite words the feeble use to describe the infinite. After a LOOOOOOOONG time, I’ve walked out of the dance theater feeling fantastic. Usually, the scene plays out thus: yogi books tickets for dance show (enthusiastically); yogi (enthusiastically) prepares to watch dance show – diarised (check), camera (check), me (check); (enthusiastically) yogi waddles off to watch dance show; yogi watches dance show (enraptured); yogi leaves dance show wowing at the art-work but crestfallen, blue and thwacking herself madly (wif her shoe) for leaving dance. Not this time! Not at all. Isha Sharvani is nothing short of out of this world in her dance. She literally has the audience eating out the palm of her hand and boy, does she know it. The one thing about a good dancer (apart from rehearse rehearse rehearse) is that elusive juju. Oozing with this mystic energy, the dancer draws the viewer (or rather – the participant observer) into the dancer’s world of passion, fun and ecstasy. Isha Sharvani SO has the juju. She’s loving what she does and there’s no stopping her. From the moment she puts her toe on stage, she’s oozing confidance and all eyes have no choice but to superglue themselves to her plastacine (sp?) body.

Ok, I could go on forever. In short – look out for the Daksha Seth Dance Company. They’re performing again tomorrow night at 8pm at Dance Factory in Newtown (Jozi).

I can’t leave out Shobhaa De from this post! Also as part of the festival, the literature fest ‘Words on Water’ saw Shobhaa De coming to S.A and dialoguing on a panel on Saturday. What a friggin treat yaar! Not only did I get to meet the fantastically fabulous, famous and infamous De, but I had a chance to chat with her too and really – what more could I ask for? Imagine sharing space with your muse. Close your eyes, take a deep breath and let yourself float… it’s something like that…

*pause…

Eargh, ok, I’m getting all soppy on you. Apologies. Good news, L has his visa and is (hopefully) getting his bums to S.A. If there’s anything else I can cross (fingers, toes, hair, legs, arms… can you cross your eyes?) please let me know – I need all the luck I can get. Shamrock anyone?

On the other end… I haven’t even told you (hai hai); I have started a new j-o-b! It’s a contract position at the University of Pretoria and I have one fancy ass title: Senior Administrative Assistant (in the Department of Community Engagement). I wasn’t even sure I qualified for junior and I’m senior already! Anyhoo, the job’s going good and time will tell if the contract moves to not-contract-and-more-permanent. The plus is that it’s in Community Engagement which is right up my alley-way and definitely in the direction I see myself moving in. The plus plus is that I see anthropology being applied sooo frequently (really means a lot to me) and the plus plus plus – I get my own office. Awesome! So ya, this is where yogi finds herself. Status quo.

Talking about work, it’s 10 past 30 and I’ve a 5:30am start tomorrow. Eargh. Not as bad as driving to Jozi though. Jesus loves me.

Sweet dreams and adieu dear ones…
:yogi

Read More

i'm so incredibly exhausted. my mind refuses to function and my eyes droop down heavily. tonight i was out with ryan and his lovely girlfriend malgojata (spelling!)(a very close friend) for a game of pool. and the previous night with himal bhai and ramona bhabi (from cape town) and friday night with sheetal (the homeopath at the shop) and her cronies. and this is night only - i'm not even mentioning what happened during the day. ok, so i'm exhausted. that - apart from the emotional exhaustion from waiting for laxi.

laxi's visa hasn't come through yet and it's not only exhausting but incredibly frustrating. it's been over a month now and our patience is wearing dangerously thin. i constantly feel that something is blocking our path - that something is preventing the full light from shining and i have no idea what to do about it.

i guess it boils down to keeping your nose to the grind-stone and keeping the faith. in the end, in the good 'ol end, it's the universe and only the universe that's real... it's only love that's real...

Read More

wow - what a week, and it's barely half way through. as i'm typing this, my eyes are sinking into sweet oblivion and my brain has moved into stoopid-mode. the weekend was madness but one huge ball of fun with niks, ashu and i leaving for grahamstown on saturday morning at 4am! the drive down was loads more fun than i thought it would be and our stay there was lovely! sunday was a treat-filled day for me, starting off with the traditional breakfast picnic and then moving onto lunch at kleinemonde at mama's flat. it all rounded up well with mandir in the evening and then a quick supper and of our madness - the drive back home. all of us were completely exhausted so we ended up taking a rather laxed amble back to jozi as opposed to a screeching speed!

all in all i feel that this year is off to a swimming start and i just feel that it has to get better from here - it just has to. laxi hasn't had any luck with his visa yet or with gaining any headway with getting here but i guess it's all about taking challenges in your stride and facing things as they come along. it's not been easy. i haven't been the most patient person or the most co-operative, but as time passes i'm learning the art of stepping back and observing.

life's thrown me some hectic stuff ths year and despite all the up-ing and down-ing it's been a year of great growth, adventure and learning for me.

dear god, please keep me sane but insane enough to love the ups and downs.

Read More

There are sometimes in life when the world seems an empty and barren place. When life ceases to smile its bright-eyed grin and the energy in the air stops pulsing with the warmth of a thousand mystic suns. My thirst seems to consume me and I’m trapped in a deep dark hole with no light in sight. I’ve forgotten how to laugh, live, love and dance. There is no stillness or silence but a buzz, a fury of mental activity waxing and waning in furious crescendo. This is my life without you. This is what it feels like when your empty words drill holes into my fragile soul. This is what happens when my glass-house shatters and I am left home-less in a barren land.

There is silence. Nothing but deep, lonely silence. Silence.

There is a knock at my door. Through cracks and gaps in my previously airless room I see bright light pounding its way through the darkness. My God has not abandoned me. He has sent his messengers of light – the light, to remind me of my essential nature. I feel a tingling on my tear stained cheeks as my tired eyes struggle to adjust to the returning light. My bones begin to thaw and my heart sends pulses of warmth through my body. The darkest hour of night is just before dawn and as I prepare for its coming I feel anticipation, a hope growing within me.

Everything is going to be alright. The sun will shine again. You will learn to love again and life will breathe with love again.

--------------------

The above is written by an anonymous poet and I just had to share it with you!! Isn’t it just amazing!! There is something about poetry that just transports you to a different level – that allows you to explore the passages of your own understanding and I think that the poet has quite ‘hit-the-nail-on-the-head’.

So ya, long silence – I know but what to say, it’s been nothing short of hectic. Between balancing the shop and processing my trip to India (mentally, emotionally, spiritually), I feel I’ve been hit by a bus! Working with my parents has been a challenge I’ve welcomed with open arms. I feel that for this moment and in this space it is the best thing to do now. This is good for the here and now. Being in the present and being with what is has been nothing short of wonderful. For the first time in a long time I feel fully going with the flow which is great. That being said – it’s not that I don’t have my idiot moments, and lately there’ve been a hang of a lot of those. I wish there was something I could say to make all the time I’ve been an ass better. But the truth is that at the end of the day, they’re all excuses and I only have myself to deal with. Who do I look at when I look into the mirror? And I’ve been quite a freek of late make no mistake. It’s slow learning now. The hours pass into days and the days into weeks. And between all this I’m like a junkie for India. It’s just madness I tell ya. Just madness.

So um, ya hey. Wow – haven’t been that brutally honest in a while. It comes with the wanting to indulge in a cathartic mode. I feel the need to atone for my sins and I guess my blog confessional will simply have to do.

On the bright-side, I’ve passed my learner’s license for a motorbike!! Yaya!! How exciting hey! I miss my India scooty and although I’m not keen on a scooty per se in South Africa, there’s nevertheless a half a door open.

Two things happened today. Raksha Bandan – which was lovely being around and in-person to tie rakhee albeit oh-so very late! And for the how-many’ith time, acting like a complete git-wad with Laxi. For someone who has an endless Vapi well of patience I really do know how to screw things up well and solid. I’m sorry… I really am.

Happy Raksha Bandan everyone – hope the coming year is filled with love, light and plenty of happiness!!

With all my love
:yogi

(p.s. uploaded wildcave adventure pics to my picasa web album, check it out dude!)

Read More

...and i'm back!

South Africa has greeted me with cold arms but a warm warm heart, and as much as I miss my beloved India, I am glad to be home. Somehow, I feel that this is the next logical step in the scheme of things. My intution sings to me in many voices and I feel completely protected and loved by the universal flow.

mm... ya, soppy - I know, but true nonetheless! My journey to India wasn't just a physical one, just short of sounding rather cliche - it was a soul journey or rather a life journey. India is always generous with her spiritual bounty and this trip was no exception. My time at the Krishnamurthy Foundation was not only about teaching English or business development. On a deeper level, a more inter-universal level, Kashi taught me how to live. In many ways (in retrospect) I feel like the boy Santiago from Paulo Coelho's magical Alchemist - the eternal student to the universe.

so ya, I find myself back home and... and... and... to be continued!

Read More

I'M IN INDIA AGAIN!!

hahaha! maddess i know! what can i say about my khwaja (love)?? over and over i am called - no, pulled to her feet and this time to the sacred and special city of varanasi in the uttar pradesh province.

thankfully, i'm not plonk in the city itself... i'm on a 300 odd acre estate on the banks (literally) of the ever blessed Gangaji (i have a crystal clear view from my door). based in rajghat, the krishnamurthy foundation has warmly invited me into its arms and i've found myself in a haze - still trying to absorb this paradise. it's truely something else.

ok, enough foofy talk. here's a bit of history, varanasi is known by 3 names: kashi, benaras and varanasi. the ancient city of kashi is said to have been on the rajghat plateux (where i am) around the varuna river. the current location of the city is a more 'recent' development relatively speaking (considering that the history of kashi dates back more than several centuries). the name varanasi comes from the varuna and assi rivers between which varanasi lies. and the ganga-varuna confluence lies plonk in the middle of the krishnamurthy foundation grounds. i'm not going to go into the layout of the campus here cause it's rather complicated, but essentially, the krishnamurthy foundation consists of; the rural centre (where i am), rajghat besant school, study centre and vasanta college.

there are a few ways to reach varanasi city from rajghat, either by boat up gangaji (my FAVOURITE thing to do), auto rickshaw (indian standard), tempo (larger than a auto - seats about 10 plus) or walk!;) i really don't know what to say about varanasi city. truth be told, i'm still trying to get my head around it. in an sms to ba and bapu i said one word to describe Varanasi city... huh? :) it's just a mixture of everything - as people here say - it is india in one glance. i think the most alluring thing about varanasi is not so much the religious pull but the blatant paradoxes that stare you in the face. swamiji mentioned in one of our 'chats' that profound truths are paradox, and i think that the allure of varanasi is in this. there is really no telling what's in store. as shayur says - it's organised chaos. the traffic is MAD - dude, believe me when i say this - mumbai bangalore... they're kabootars (pidgeons)! it's amazing that one can get from a to b. and although there are traffic police around, there's this crazy rush to move at 20km/h!! aaah, how to describe the madness, even as i'm typing this words seem inadequate. on a completely different note, the pictures of varanasi are not 'just pictures'!! the sadhu babas, the pandits, they're all real - they're all here!! i think one of the nicest things is going up the ganga early in the morning or at dusk and simply observing the various rites and rituals - even morning p's and q's!! ;) i'm not going to go into my thoughts on gangaji and pavitra etc, but it's almost enlightening watching the variety of activities that take place at the shore. there's a simple beauty in observing.

ok, my fingers are tired. this keyboard is wack and i haven't been on a comp in ages! i will try keep in touch as often as i possibly can and try get some pics up too.

with love from kashi
:yogi

Read More