There are sometimes in life when the world seems an empty and barren place. When life ceases to smile its bright-eyed grin and the energy in the air stops pulsing with the warmth of a thousand mystic suns. My thirst seems to consume me and I’m trapped in a deep dark hole with no light in sight. I’ve forgotten how to laugh, live, love and dance. There is no stillness or silence but a buzz, a fury of mental activity waxing and waning in furious crescendo. This is my life without you. This is what it feels like when your empty words drill holes into my fragile soul. This is what happens when my glass-house shatters and I am left home-less in a barren land.
There is silence. Nothing but deep, lonely silence. Silence.
There is a knock at my door. Through cracks and gaps in my previously airless room I see bright light pounding its way through the darkness. My God has not abandoned me. He has sent his messengers of light – the light, to remind me of my essential nature. I feel a tingling on my tear stained cheeks as my tired eyes struggle to adjust to the returning light. My bones begin to thaw and my heart sends pulses of warmth through my body. The darkest hour of night is just before dawn and as I prepare for its coming I feel anticipation, a hope growing within me.
Everything is going to be alright. The sun will shine again. You will learn to love again and life will breathe with love again.
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The above is written by an anonymous poet and I just had to share it with you!! Isn’t it just amazing!! There is something about poetry that just transports you to a different level – that allows you to explore the passages of your own understanding and I think that the poet has quite ‘hit-the-nail-on-the-head’.
So ya, long silence – I know but what to say, it’s been nothing short of hectic. Between balancing the shop and processing my trip to India (mentally, emotionally, spiritually), I feel I’ve been hit by a bus! Working with my parents has been a challenge I’ve welcomed with open arms. I feel that for this moment and in this space it is the best thing to do now. This is good for the here and now. Being in the present and being with what is has been nothing short of wonderful. For the first time in a long time I feel fully going with the flow which is great. That being said – it’s not that I don’t have my idiot moments, and lately there’ve been a hang of a lot of those. I wish there was something I could say to make all the time I’ve been an ass better. But the truth is that at the end of the day, they’re all excuses and I only have myself to deal with. Who do I look at when I look into the mirror? And I’ve been quite a freek of late make no mistake. It’s slow learning now. The hours pass into days and the days into weeks. And between all this I’m like a junkie for India. It’s just madness I tell ya. Just madness.
So um, ya hey. Wow – haven’t been that brutally honest in a while. It comes with the wanting to indulge in a cathartic mode. I feel the need to atone for my sins and I guess my blog confessional will simply have to do.
On the bright-side, I’ve passed my learner’s license for a motorbike!! Yaya!! How exciting hey! I miss my India scooty and although I’m not keen on a scooty per se in South Africa, there’s nevertheless a half a door open.
Two things happened today. Raksha Bandan – which was lovely being around and in-person to tie rakhee albeit oh-so very late! And for the how-many’ith time, acting like a complete git-wad with Laxi. For someone who has an endless Vapi well of patience I really do know how to screw things up well and solid. I’m sorry… I really am.
Happy Raksha Bandan everyone – hope the coming year is filled with love, light and plenty of happiness!!
With all my love
:yogi
(p.s. uploaded wildcave adventure pics to my picasa web album, check it out dude!)
